Finally, Thank You!

I'd like to say "thank you" to everyone who took the time to help me about the links. You are all so kind, which bolsters my belief that indeed, the blogging community is one of the kindest bunch of smart people I have ever had the luck to be part of. So now, I can give credit to where it is due. My top EC droppers are the following:

Parenting Squad
Mommieshome.net
madWAHM
Whatever Mama
DogzNCatz
ShopDogDiaries
My World
Sense to Save
Sense to Save
Posh Mama
Createlf

Also, I am declaring here that the ad I placed with Whatever Mama generated the most number of clicks to my website. So, if you guys want to increase your traffic just a little bit, try this site.

So, there you go now, guys! Again, thanks so much for visiting.

This whole exercise of trying to get a bit more high-tech by putting links on a post has proven to be more daunting than I first thought. But with the help of all those wonderful people who responded to my call for help, I was able to do it. Thank you, people!

To My Dedicated Droppers

Hey! Everyone who has been faithfully dropping EC into my site, I would like to mention you all and to properly say “thank you” to you but I can’t because I do not know how to put the links to your respective sites.

If you will please teach me how to do it so that I can at least give you credit. You know who you are, guys!

In case no one responds to this plea and I am not able to post a thank-you note with your links in it, I am thanking you now from the bottom of my heart.

Good day, everyone!

Weak and Wobbly Lion

I need to share with you something which I observed in my younger son, Elijah. He is a very passionate, intense person and that is what we mostly see in him. When he likes something, he really likes it. He wants to eat sunny-side-up eggs everyday if he can get away with it. I mean, he does not get tired of it!

And when he is angry, he really blows his top. One time, he was so mad at his brother that he asked me to douse him with water because according to him, his head was so hot because it was on fire! We usually try hard to hide our amusement at the way he expresses himself but we know that, that is how he is – fiery, passionate, intense.

There is this other side to him, though, which really touches my heart every time he does something to give him away. He is so soft-hearted, sympathetic and kind. Even his Winnie-the-Pooh toy gets a dose of my little boy’s loving acts. Before he leaves for school, he makes sure that it is all covered up in case it (the stuffed bear) gets “chilly”. Same thing when he snuggles down into his warm duvet to sleep at night.

One time, he and his brother came home from a church activity with a small stuffed animal toy each. His big brother got a tiny tiger that can stand up on its feet, while little Elijah brought home a tiny lion that is wobbly on the legs and falls smack flat when he tries to prop it up.

He was so upset because according to him, he was able to get one of those sturdy-legged lions first before his brother, but the big brother told him to return it to the heap of toys as it was not yet time to get one. He obediently dropped the toy back to the heap. Unfortunately, when the time came for the kids to help themselves to the toys, he got that lion instead. And so his wrath fell on his big brother (for telling him to return the first toy he got).

He was howling like mad. I could not stop him nor appease his misplaced anger. Then I remembered his soft side and told him that, maybe, the Lord allowed him to have that “sick and weak” lion because He wanted Elijah to look after it – that He knows Elijah is good at taking care of sick animals. It worked. Suddenly, the howling and ranting stopped and the next thing I knew, the “weak and sick” lion was lying in a little corner, being tended to like a real pet. His compassion and innate kindness prevailed over his own anxiety and frustration.

I am not endorsing “fooling” your kid every time just to get him to shut up. My point is, we mommies should know our kids’ better side – their positive traits and innate beautiful characters, and try to nourish those in every way we can. Someday, he will learn that the lion didn’t need any tending, but also, by then, he would have developed already as second nature that tender lovingkindess towards people and real animals - which was first showered lavishly on his lifeless stuffed toys.

Angst of a Frustrated Blogger

My addiction to blogging is starting to be more apparent. What is frustrating for me is my inability to spend more time on it than I would want to. My hands would itch from my longing to write about something I want to post, or I would desperately want to mutate into a dropping monster so that my EntreCard rating will at least increase – but I am just unable to.

Being a full-time mom to two active kids, an online writer and an aspiring pro blogger are proving to be too much for me. I want to post every single day just to share my random thoughts but I have articles to deliver to my lead writer and boys to drop in school and fetch later on – and I almost forgot, those house chores, too.

Enough of this angst, though. I will now commit to do quickie posts as often as possible. I hope my visitors will take time to read them, though, as I usually put in too much effort to write each article. Moreover, I will also get more active in my card dropping efforts, as my rank is way, way below - almost at the bottom of the heap. How pathetic.

Downsizing a SUPER-SIZED Child

Who is to blame when a child becomes morbidly obese? Is it the genes, the food, the parents, McDonald’s? For me, when a child becomes overweight or morbidly obese, it is no longer time to blame anyone or anything. It is a time to act and to act decisively. The fact that the child has gained so much weight means that he has been left all alone with his own troubles. Early on, something should have been done already before things got out of control.

Today, 20% or even more of kids in America are obese, some of them morbidly obese. This is a serious matter, an epidemic on its way of becoming a pandemic. These kids are at risk of developing all sorts of highly preventable illnesses like diseases of the heart, hypertension, diabetes and kidney ailments – not to mention severely impaired self-esteem.

Our society has acquired the skill of transforming eating as a tool for survival into something destructive. If your child is one of the statistics I just mentioned, take action now. Stop blaming yourself because most probably, there is still time to redeem yourself.

The most difficult part is always the first step. But once you and your child are underway, things can become easier and more manageable. Before doing anything, you will have to talk to your pediatrician about weight loss in obese children. Ask the doctor for practical advice, your child’s ideal weight for his age and other technical matters.

You will have to make the child understand that lowering his weight to a healthier level is a partnership between the two of you. He is not alone in this venture and he is assured of your support at all times.

Second, he should also understand that his life and health hang on the balance - that is why it is of utmost importance to act now. In terms the child can understand, illustrate to him what is happening to his body and what he stands to gain if he successfully loses weight. These benefits can be anything from being able to engage more in sports to gaining self-confidence.

Third, lay the ground rules and make sure that the child perfectly understands. While sitting down to discuss these with him, you can work on a few, highly attainable objectives, which will obviously change as you progress in your lose-weight program. Then post these ground rules in strategic places in the house.

Based on the objectives drawn up, make a table of responsibilities – yours and the child’s so that he is clear about what you expect of him and what he can expect from you.

For example, put as one of your responsibilities the preparation of nutritious meals which he can eat at home and bring to school. On his part, he should eat these meals and stick to them.

Aside from the responsibilities, draw up a rewards system, in which he can have a trip to the cinema for sticking to his diet this week, or the revocation of his TV privilege if he strays away from it. You know your child best to be able to draw up a system that works for him. The only thing to remember is to make him aware of the fact that every success he has is highly appreciated.

Other practical things you can do are the following:

 Join the child in his exercise sessions.
 Commit to rely on home-cooked meals rather than fastfoods.
 Avoid stacking the pantry with unhealthy food.
 Schedule a regular weighing to track his progress, which should be properly documented in a line graph.

It is never too late to act on your child’s weight problem. Downsize him now and watch him transform into a healthy, happy, confident child – the way every child should be.

Mommy Academy

Mommies are the first educators of their kids. If so, we mommies must have some sort of a plan, some sort of a curriculum, which should guide us on how to enhance our kids’ knowledge and make them appreciate the value of learning.

This need not be a sophisticated plan, just a guideline, for us to cover every aspect of a child’s outside-school education needs, particularly the toddler years until at least junior school level.

I am not also thinking of educating our kids in terms of school subjects or academic topics. I am talking about life skills and emotional/psychological preparedness to take on life as they grow up.

The first thing that we should work on is the love for learning and knowledge. Sometimes, because of our busy-ness with home life and a career on the side, we simply miss the importance of laying a good foundation for our kids’ education. By foundation, I mean their attitude towards learning as an endeavor. Early on, we should try to present the whole business of learning as an adventure, a way to open their eyes to a world of possibilities for them.

For example, a three-year old child can be made to understand that a school is a place where every child can meet other children while learning how to read and write. Just this kind of introduction to the concept of school gives him positive thoughts about the place where he will get his first taste of formal education. This should get him excited over school.

This love for learning can also be developed at every opportunity that we are with our little ones. Anywhere we go, we can make it a point to teach them something new. For example, a trip to the supermarket can be a session to teach them about the terms used for different kinds of meat, or the different food groups, or even shapes and colors.

It is important to assess each of the children to learn their unique inclinations and interests. Knowing these, we should be able to know how to approach the subject of cultivating the love for learning and actually imparting knowledge to them.

Of course, this endeavor to educate our kids in “Mommy Academy” requires time and resources, though not necessarily expensive. It is advisable to set aside a monthly budget for the purpose, but do an activity or purchase an educational material every other month. For example, you can set aside a few bucks for this month and then add it for next month’s budget to be able to afford a trip to a historical site or something like that.

Some suggested ways to educate our kids are the following:

- Through educational software or toys
- A once- or twice-a-year trip to someplace big like a big museum or a historical site would be nice.
- Spending an hour or so in the local library at least one weekend a month

There are a lot of other ways to educate our kids our own way. Even for holidays, we can prepare a simple brief about every destination for all the kids to read about prior to departure so that they will gain knowledge about the places they have been.

The knowledge they gain from these kinds of exposure will stay with them because they gained them while they were enjoying with the whole family.

Raising Would-be Philanthropists Who Give For the Right Reasons

I feel this strong urge to write about this topic and spread some kindness in a world so painfully lacking in love and compassion. This is my way of inspiring mommies like me to raise socially-aware kids who will grow up knowing how to share what they have with other people.

It is kinda baffling for a simple person like me to realize that 90% of the world’s wealth is controlled by a mere 10% of the population. There is so much want and need around us and it will not hurt if we all do our share in helping the less fortunate in our own simple ways. As moms, our sphere of influence would be our homes, our families and communities, and that is where we should start doing this act of kindness.

Influencing our kids in such a way that they will learn to think of other people more than the average youngster does, is a fantastic way to spread kindness in this world. Aside from raising them as sympathetic, less self-centered individuals, making them aware of other people’s needs will also teach them to be more grateful for what they have.

I am sure most of us have that compassion or concern for other people, which unfortunately, gets lost amidst the sea of other matters and interests. So, let us just say, this effort is also as much for our kids as it is for us.

So, how do we go about doing this? - In simple ways with profound effects, I guess.

Regularly mention the topic in your conversations. For example, when you see a TV commercial of a charity organization talking about children in Africa dying of diarrhea and malnutrition, take that opportunity to open their eyes to these harsh realities in ways that they can understand.

We can encourage our kids to set aside a small amount from their daily allowance to give to a poor classmate, church mate or donate to charity. Allow them to identify someone they know who needs help and assign that person to be the would-be recipient of the donation.

Inspiring them with stories of other kids or individuals who practice kindness in their life is also another way of instilling this virtue in them.

Giving away their unwanted toys and clothes to others who need them is also another way to achieve this. Of course, it will also help a lot in our de-cluttering efforts around the house.

When teaching children to be more generous, it is important to emphasize to them that the act of giving is not about them but about the people they show kindness to. They can feel good about what they do, but it is not something to brag about. It is about making another individual see their true worth, and that, is a genuine act of kindness we all need more of these days.

My Fastfood Valentine Celebration

A lot of lovers would have spent love day in a romantic place or had a romantic candlelight dinner. Not me. But that does not mean that I did not enjoy it or that it was not romantic enough.

For me, spending Valentine’s Day is not just about where to celebrate – though, ambience can help a bit. What is important, is/are the people I am with. At least, I was with the people who give meaning to the day so my Valentine’s Day was complete.

Where did we go? Mc Donald’s! I enjoyed it, not because of the fillet-o-fish that I had (that is the only thing I can have for lunch at McDonald’s, being a vegetarian), but because it was spent with my family. While a romantic dinner for two in an equally-romantic place would sound better than what I had, I wouldn’t trade our fastfood Valentine’s lunch for anything.

It is the unlikely choice for a Valentine’s treat, isn’t it? But it was a sweet gesture by my husband, as he wanted the kids to enjoy as well with us. This whole week, he was on leave in time with the kids' half term break so he could spend time with us. Last Monday, he brought us to a castle in the English Midlands, and tomorrow, we will be celebrating our 12th year anniversary. I am a happy wife and mother and I thank God for that.

What about you, how did your day go?

Fussy Eaters

Most mommies have a first-hand experience with a fussy eater. Getting a kid to eat well and to eat a lot takes more than a few tricks to make it happen. Sometimes, we mommies should be inventive, resourceful, diplomatic and down-right ruthless all at the same time, to be successful in teaching our kids to eat and eat right.

Our present health situation is dismal at best and totally tragic at worst. The growing obesity epidemic and our penchant for anything sweet, oily, sodium-laden food that can be served really fast is quite phenomenal. There has never been a society more dependent on fastfood than today. Thus, it is a responsibility of each mom to train her kids to eat healthy while they are still young. Unfortunately, for some, this is as difficult as teaching a dog to use spoon and fork.

As a vegetarian and a marketer of plant-based immune boosters, I have successfully transferred my preference for healthy foods (to a certain extent, at least), to my two sons. But that did not happen overnight. It took me years of discipline and firm policies on eating healthy before they came to appreciate the fact that they cannot just stuff anything into their mouths anytime they want. I do not see any end to this training, though, as long as they are still living with me. It is a daily thing for me to monitor what they eat and to plan what I should serve them

I want to share a few of the tricks I employed to make this happen, in the hope that other mothers and their kids would benefit.

First, it is wise to introduce as many flavors, tastes and textures of food as early as possible to a baby, so that it will get used to these and will not find them yucky when it is older. One good way of achieving this is by mashing, chopping or grating veggies. When my babies started eating solid foods, I would patiently mash anything that can safely be eaten and digested by a baby. I kept their meals varied so that they got used to a lot of flavors and tastes.

Second, I taught my kids the importance of timing in eating. Sweets, soda drinks or junk foods are not to be eaten before mealtimes. This is an understood policy and my kids know this very well.

This rule also comes in handy when they do not seem to like the food prepared for them, and they have ice cream or a piece of cake for dessert. They know that they cannot have those treats unless they eat a proper meal. The dessert, then, becomes their motivation to eat their meal first and eat a considerable amount of it.

Third, I make sure that they have greens everyday or at least four times a week. The fact that they see me and my husband prefer vegetables over meat, has ingrained in their young minds that veggies are essential. I did not try to put them on a vegetarian diet like me, but I have made vegetables a major part of their daily food. Now, my older son, aged 11, prefers vegetables and fruits over meat.

This meant incorporating vegetables into their favorite dishes. I am also an avid cook so this skill comes in handy in preparing, sometimes inventing dishes that they will like. Since they were accustomed to different tastes of food, I do not disguise any vegetable now that they are bigger, except when I add them to meat balls or something like that. Now they munch on broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, mushrooms or potatoes. Spinach is not an abominable thing to them.

Fourth, incorporate nutritious ingredients into a favorite dish or the main course of a meal (for the older kids), regardless if it was ever heard of before. I have come up with a few tricks to achieve this. One is, I come up with tasty sauces with a hint of honey. The sweetness of the honey overrides everything else and my kids end up eating their beans and leafy vegetables.

I also have a list of versatile, nutritious ingredients that can make dishes really tastier and are real health boosters. Some of these are mushroom, pineapple slices, tuna, carrots, broccoli, and a whole lot more. Whenever possible, I include these in the dishes I cook.

These are only a few of the things that moms can do to train their kids to eat healthy. Every effort made towards this is an investment towards a healthier life for them. I would appreciate hearing from you as well. Your coping mechanism in this department is surely worth listening to.

Begging for Comments

Writing for this blog is getting more of a serious stuff for me. In the past, before this site became a full-fledged mommy page (the turning point being the post entitled: Critical Point), I would just post anything that catches my fancy, or something that’s persisting in my mind. Now, I have to work on a single post for days (whereas, in the past, I could finish one post in mere minutes) and sometimes, it is still not up to my standard for posting.

My whole point here is: I put too much effort into writing each post. Thus, I’d appreciate it a lot if my visitors (Yes, you, my dear reader), would also leave a few comments. I just want to be inspired, that’s all.

Thank you for reading this and for stopping by.

Your One Moment in Time

The past two posts delved into inspirational themes on motherhood and the immense responsibility of raising good kids. We have talked about love and affection and character building and now, I’d like to share my thoughts about a valuable commodity that is unfortunately in short supply in our busy, flurried existence. I am referring to T-I-M-E. This is the last installment in this trilogy of inspirational themes and then I will move on to more practical topics.

Time with your kids is one thing that should never be missing in your regular schedule. Of course, if you are a stay-at-home mom, you are always there inside the house and they always see you. Or, if you are working, you always go home at night, anyway. That does not count, however, if we are talking of time dedicated to bonding with and enjoying your kids.

Do not put off a few moments to talk, play or just hang out with your kids. Enjoy the “now” with your children and do not think that tomorrow is a better time. Even if you are only able to tuck them into bed every night because you are a busy executive or businesswoman, or only have dinnertime to sit down with them as you hold irregular working hours. What is important is they have your full attention when you are there.

Kids are especially perceptive. Even babies recognize stress and tension among adults - all the more little children who have grown too familiar with you. They will know if you are not totally focused on them and sometimes, they come to the wrong conclusion that they are not good enough for company, that they are boring you. Avoid such subtle messages that destroy their confidence and rob them of their joy of being in your company.

If you have not applied the phrase “seizing the moment” on rearing your kids, you have not actually tasted the benefits of motherhood. Enjoying, instead of fussing over your kids will rob you of the potential blessings of raising children.

Enjoy their laughter, the noise they make. It is indeed difficult to keep our cool when everything is going wrong and we hear crying, screaming and stuff crashing to the floor all at the same time. But think of this: do you prefer them not able to move at all, make any sound, or utter any word?

My point is, enjoy the moments you have with kids. There may be difficult days when everything is not going right and you feel impatient. Let those days be few and far between. Let there be more laughter and jokes and tickles and running around the house with them.

From the point of view of an adult, scenes like these are chaos. But in the eyes of a child, those are moments when he or she can completely relate to his or her mommy, when he or she can totally enjoy her company.

Seize the moment, enjoy your one moment in time to be able to start a deep and lasting friendship with your children. That moment is while they are young. Maximize those special moments you share with them, so that when you are not around, they will always look forward to seeing you again, and those special moments you give them will pull them through until they get to hug mommy again.

Mommy Potter

I am sure that only a few mothers realize that they are actually “potters” in their own right. It is their privilege to mold their children into upright, decent, adorable individuals who can touch lives and make a difference in this world. They have in their hands lumps of clay ready to be formed into the best individuals they can ever be.

The process of character building starts in the cradle – with you and the rest of the family as catalysts and moderators. Disciplining your children early on will drill into their minds the need to be responsible, to be accountable for their actions, to be a positive contribution to society.

When disciplining, it is important to be consistent and firm. The easiest way to destroy and confuse their sense of right and wrong is to be inconsistent. Telling them not to eat in front of the television yet doing it yourself will confuse them and will challenge their faith in you as an authority figure.

Modeling positive behavior and reinforcing this with faithful, righteous instruction should ensure that they grow up with the right values and attitudes. This implies that you will have to have the right values as well if you want to raise amazing kids.

They say that what other people know about you is your reputation. What is not readily visible to them is your character. Your character is something that defines your personhood – the sum total of your value system, priorities and aspirations regardless if others see this or not. Your character cannot be faked, especially before your own children. You will bear fruit according to your own kind.

Character is molded in privacy, starting in the home and in every interaction a child has outside it. Yet, it is an aspect of his life that shines through, especially in difficult or trying times. And this is where your years of hard work pay off – when your kids are able to weather the worst storms in their life. Their characters remain intact and true to the training you have given.

Of course, at the end of the day, when the children are grown and have their own minds, they will be responsible for their own actions. However, much of their actions will be determined by their own training as children.

Also, it is not being implied here that you have to be near-perfect to be able to raise good, upright, well-adjusted individuals. No one’s perfect, especially not mommies who bear heavy responsibilities and are constantly under a lot of stress. It is alright to fail sometimes, and to admit this to your kids. Apologizing or admitting your fault as a parent also has a way to prepare them for disappointments later on in life, and for them to get up after a fall and continue on, wiser than ever before.