S[mothering] Your Kids With Love and Affection

Children who grow up showered with love and affection become emotionally secure and loving individuals. All throughout their childhood, fill your children’s days with expressions of love and care, making them aware that they are important, valued, special.

Kiss your children while they are young – while their cheeks are silky soft and smooth and plump and creamy all at the same time. They do not stay that way for long. Hug them and love them to bits while they are still dependent on you. Smothering them with embraces and affectionate pecks is what mothering is all about. “Smothering” with hugs and kisses means lots and lots of mothering with the “s” misplaced, that’s all.

Physical manifestations of love and affection like hugging and kissing should be natural and common in your home. Lovers express their emotions this way, why not mothers towards their children and vice versa? At every opportunity, plant a kiss on those silky soft rounded cheeks or that cute little nose. Pat the head, run your fingers through the silky strands of your child’s hair. Nothing of these expressions of affection will ever be wasted as they become nourishment to their budding confidence as individuals.

Let your speech towards them be peppered with grace and kindness as well. Call them with terms of endearment and always encourage and appreciate them with words. Mean what you say.

When I say “show affection to your kids,” I mean now, today, right this very moment, and every opportunity that you get thereafter. They grow up so fast and before you know it, they are not kids anymore, and you might just miss those heavenly moments of enjoying them as children.

The world is getting more hostile and dangerous for our children but we all can still create a safe and loving environment for them by showering and surrounding them with love and affection both in word and deeds. They can go out to the world with confidence and assurance that they are valuable and special and only God knows how great a boost this is to their self esteem.

Toy-ing With the Idea of Smart Mommy-ing (Part II)

Most parents approach the subject of choosing toys without much thought. Some buy toys without much planning and weighing. As long as it is in vogue, it is affordable, or it simply excites their children, they go for it.

It is crucial for parents to choose the right ones – even if they are relatively few in number. What matters most is that they would have such a great impact on the owners that they grow in more ways than one while playing with them.

Toys are the objects with which children first develop the concept of personal ownership. Toy ownership is thus an excellent opportunity for you to teach them about keeping their belongings (in this case their toys) tidy, sharing them with others and even the concept of not wanting too much and too many at a time.

It is helpful to explain to the children that at some point in time, they will have to let go of some toys they have grown out of to make room for newer ones. They should not cling to them when other children can also benefit from these toys. In doing so, the children are trained early on in life to de-clutter and have room for those toys that they love best.

Last but not least, toys are not always bought – they can also be made by the kids themselves. Open to them the possibility of making their own toys. With art and craft materials, you can join them to make silly items that make them laugh or put their imagination to work.

During these sessions, you can actually observe them and can tell what their interests are and what they will be good at. You can tell who have more patience and persistence or those who are resourceful, who have artistic inclinations and who need more help in that department. Turn these sessions into regular times of bonding and developing their character.

The possibilities are endless when it comes to guiding your child’s development with the right kinds of toys. Whatever effort you put in today in choosing the right ones for them, the more returns you will have in the form of well-adjusted kids.

Toy-ing With the Idea of Smart Mommy-ing (Part I)

To take off from my last post on evolving into a blog that will tackle issues on parenthood and mommy-hood in particular, here is the first installment of a two-part article on making the right choices of toys for kids. Hope you will pick something wise from it:

Being mom is such a demanding role. If you want to play it satisfactorily, you have to have serious commitment to continue growing and learning from past mistakes. It requires you to consistently apply yourself to the task of nurturing, caring, guiding, and loving the whole family. Most essentially, you will have to be vigilant in protecting them and making sure that nothing or nobody harms them physically, spiritually and psychologically.

You might say, “Well, that’s a given and I surely will bust anybody’s butt who has the gall to hurt my baby.” Unfortunately, most moms maintain this protective stance in regards to people, mostly. They do not have the same vigilance when it comes to toys they allow their kids to have access to.

Yes, toys are important and they play an important role in a child’s development. Remember, though, that they did not come to be on their own – they were made by people, businessmen, to be exact, who are after profit only. Yes, they may employ the best designers and child psychologists to come up with these costly toys and gadgets. But there are some who want nothing but gain and go on to sell products that are unsafe, inappropriate or totally useless.

There are also clever businesses that use the best marketing strategies to sell their products, so much so that they are able to create a need for these products in the minds of their consumers. Of course, the parents will have to shell out the bucks to buy them.

Toys are indeed important, and this is the very reason why moms should be smart enough to determine which ones the kids should play with to ensure they are safe and they are actually benefiting (either physically, emotionally, or mentally) from all these playthings.

Mommies should be extremely discriminating and choosy when deciding which toys to buy their children, or allow them access to. Safety of the kids when playing with toys (i.e., will your three-year old not end up making dinner out of those small parts?) is the number one consideration. Make sure that they are non-toxic, they do not have small pieces attractive enough to swallow, and other similar factors.

Safety is not the only consideration, though. You should also look into the mental, physical, social or psychological benefits of the toys that you give the children. Go for age-appropriate ones that have educational value. Look for pieces that stimulate them to think critically and to be resourceful and creative. Or, choose toys that encourage them to be active while playing with it. Social growth is also important so go for toys that can be played by a group of children, instead of just one.

Go for toys that do not encourage violence or portray hurting others as a normal behavior or glorify characters that have evil characteristics. You might think that I am a killjoy since most kids have access to video games. You can still allow them video games but choose the right games. In the long run, when they are teen-agers, you will have lesser worries that they will get into fights or brawls since the behavior was not encouraged early on in their life.

Consider the price of a toy as well. Even if you are filthy rich, avoid splurging on toys that end up under utilized, anyway. Decision making in purchasing a toy should be made into an opportunity for you to teach them how to be money savvy (at least the older ones). It is wiser to deposit what little amount you were able to save on toys towards your child’s bank account.

Sometimes, busy moms and dads fall prey to guilt and buy the most expensive toys and gadgets to make up for the fact that they do not spend enough time with their children. The sad news is, if they pick the wrong kind of toy, or they give toys too often just to make up to their kids, they end up doubling their shortcomings to their children. Not spending enough quality time with your children is not a good sign in itself, “bribing” them with toys just to make it up is even worse.

Choices in toys and how often you buy them tell a lot about your parenting style. Be sure to send the correct messages to your kids. Even in such simple things, you can show them that you value them and that you are concerned how things like toys can affect them in the long run.

More on “smart mommy-ing” in the next post.

Critical Point

I have come to a critical point in my blogging life. I am at a crossroads. I want to make a difference in the blogging community, if not the world. But I am a nobody, I am only one, weak, basically jobless and still coping with the demands of settling and integrating in a foreign land.

I have made a serious re-thinking of the path I have taken in my blogging journey. I have decided to re-direct my blog’s theme to something more definite, more targeted, if you like. My blog started as a requirement that I had to have in order to complete one of my Masteral subjects. Since then, I managed to keep posting until today.

Then, in 2006, I got introduced to online writing, which led to my becoming more serious with the craft, which eventually showed in my blog’s evolution. Now, KeyPounder is mutating once more - for the better I hope, into something more focused and closer to my heart – the subject of motherhood.

I am doing this by launching a series of parenting posts. Motherhood is a wonderful calling, but not all mothers out there are making the most of it and I want to tell them otherwise. Moreover, I want to show them how. This is how I want to make a difference in the blogging community and hopefully, the world.

So now, I am putting in writing my thoughts and experiences in one of the most amazing journeys a woman can ever take – motherhood. I want to connect with all the mothers out there, especially those who have lost the magic of holding their baby for the first time and are now buried in an avalanche of house chores and breastfeeding and nappy changes.

Those are all part of the journey and without them we mothers will not grow and get anything from the experience. BUT we need not lose the joys, the magic of bringing into the world another life and rearing him or her up to be a responsible adult.

I am blessed with two healthy, beautiful sons, I have my ups and downs, too. I get mad, I get cranky during bad days. But at the end of the day, it is all about giving myself away to nurture and teach and care for two special individuals. And so I go on and try to be the best Mama in the world.

I hope and pray that anyone who gets to read this blog will be blessed, encouraged or given a fresh perspective on the fast vanishing and deteriorating vocation that is motherhood.

Bra

A friend of mine sent me this text message: “A true friend is like a good bra: hard to find, lifts you up, gives you support and always close to your heart. Send this to all your best bras.”

I found it amusing at first, but at the same time, realized that it is poignantly true. Then the faces of those precious friends I hold so dear flashed in my mind and had I only had sufficient load in my roaming mobile phone that time, I would have forwarded this to all of them back home.

Instead, I am writing this blog to let them all know (of course, you know who you are, guys!) that I appreciate each one of them. They have indeed been very good bras to me through all these years.

Last Sunday, I also found myself photographing the hymnal in church as we were singing the song “What a Friend we Have in Jesus” as I want to sing it again at home. It struck me that yes, Jesus fits all the description of a good bra, as well. It’s just that for the first criteria, i.e., hard to find, He is only in the sense that Someone like Him is quite exceptional and very rare, if not the most rare. Otherwise, He is not hard to find for those who earnestly seek Him.

Everyone who has allowed Him into his or her life will find in Jesus a present help in times of need, a faithful Provider and a relentless Lover. Always ready to forgive and most especially, never leaves His friends alone – never.

The danger of this is that sometimes, His followers tend to look at Him from a utilitarian point of view – they approach Him because they need Him, that sort of thing. This is human nature and even human friends are treated this way. How nice it would be if we all would approach Jesus not only because we need Him but because we want to – because He is also our GOD. And if we do, we will naturally view our human friends that way, too. It would be like wearing our bra not because they support and cover ‘em up but simply because we want it close to our hearts.

Faithful: In Memory of 2007

The year 2007 has gone – with all its trials and triumphs. But the memories remain and they serve as stones of remembrance to mark God’s faithfulness in carrying us through it all. 2007 was particularly blessed for me and my family because it marked the realization of one of our biggest dreams – to be together again as a family after a year’s separation from my husband when he came to work here in England.

It was also a year that saw me without any fulltime work. For all the 12 months of 2007, I was just a stay-at-home mom and wife and only my husband was employed. Because of this, I have seen how faithful my Father is as a Provider. He never allowed any unmet need. Amazing!

Because of the free time in my hands, I was able to start pursuing my lifelong dream of writing regularly. Yes, I had a glorious time learning to live the life of a writer – penniless but totally gratified by the freedom of being able to express thoughts and translate them into words.

No one in our family was seriously ill last year and this is another cause for deep gratitude. Because of the good health we had, we were able to stand the rigors of re-settling from the Philippines to another country – a severely cold and totally different place. Adjusting to the temperamental English weather and their way of life could have been more daunting had we been sick at any point in time last year. Because we were healthy, we were able to enjoy whatever blessings there were that came our way. We had the occasional colds but nothing more serious than that.

We gained a lot of new, wonderful friends last year due to the change of environment. We may have left a few really precious ones back in the Philippines but God compensated our “loss” with the ones we had the privilege to spend the recent Christmas with.

As a proper ending to this piece which is actually a tribute to God’s faithfulness, His birthday gifts to me and my husband last year need to be mentioned. For my birthday gift, He allowed the family to move into a rented flat on our own. For the first four months within our arrival, we shared a rented house with another family. My heart struggled in different areas in relation to this set up and in an endearingly sweet gesture, the Lord allowed us to have our own place and to transfer to the flat on my very birthday. The landlord determined the day of our transfer – not us. Truly amazing!

The Lord responded to my most urgent need and request and that was His present to me. He knew the depression that was setting in because I was jobless in a foreign land, with domestic issues to deal with all at the same time. He cared about how I felt and He lost no time in acting on my need.

My husband, on the other hand, received his brand new service car from his company on his birthday six weeks after our move. Again, the car dealer determined the date of delivery, not my husband so it must have been the hand of God as well for him to have it on his very birthday. God is so sweet, indeed.

A lot more blessings have come our way last year – as well as problems, trials and disappointments. But they are all gone now and what remains is our hearts full of thanksgiving and our steadfast faith in the One Who has carried us through it all. Goodbye, 2007!